Posts Tagged ‘meet women’
Flirting With Words: For Men, Part 7
I showed you why humor, particularly the timing of it, was so important in flirting. Now I’d like to show you the final piece of your arsenal – how you walk away with YOU on her mind!
You’ve found a nice young lady who has been swayed by your charms all night. Sounds good right? You are doing it well… but you have to leave. Or she does.
So what should you do? Obviously, asking her out for another date would be the wise thing to do. But past simplifying things, it’s a matter of HOW you do it that makes it effective.
Many guys fumble here. It’s understandable in many cases, as most men aren’t in tune with what is happening during a flirtation anyhow. If you are aware, it’s rather easy to do, as you’ll know if she’s interested in you.
The most important thing to watch for are nonverbal cues. If the right ones are present, you should be able to continue with another day.
The best way is to be direct.
– “Might I have your phone number so we can meet again soon?” — “Would you like to meet me for coffee sometimes this next week?”
Being indirect about it tends to create apprehension. I’m not a big fan of saying something like “I really enjoyed talking to you and would like to do so again.” I believe in getting to the point of the matter.
If you’ve made a strong enough impression, you might be lucky enough for her to ask YOU for your number. That happening is really rare though – so definitely don’t count on it! And sometimes when this happens, she is trying to actually get rid of you!
A sneaky trick that might be worth trying is to let her know that you like a woman who isn’t constrained by societal rules. Be it a “free spirit”, or a liberated woman, acknowledging that it is acceptable to be that way might just convince her to close you. But again, don’t count on it.
So be direct, and confident. If you’ve done your work, you have very little to fear in regards to rejection!
This concludes this part of the series on flirting. In the next article, I’ll discuss how to put it all together – the verbal and non verbal aspects of flirting, and how you should go about practicing them.
How To Meet Girls At The Gym While Working Out
If you like to exercise, there’s a good chance you spend a bit of time in the gym, or any other place where people congregate to work out.
In fact, it’s not unusual for guys to spend anywhere from an hour to two hours a day working out!
From personal experience, when I work out, I’ll be at the gym five days a week, alternating between an hour of cardio and an hour of weight training.
And that time at the gym adds up! Some people even go further by joining classes, getting a personal trainer, and hanging out at the local juice bar. So it’s no surprise that because some of us spend so much time at the gym, we’d like to know how to meet women there!
After all, it’s not just the fact that some guys spend a lot of time working out at the gym, there’s also the fact that some very attractive women spend a lot of time there too! (In an effort to remain as attractive as possible, of course.)
But as much as it makes sense to try and meet girls during your workout, it can seem like a very daunting task! But if you know a few simple tricks for meeting women at the gym, you might be surprised to find that it’s actually easier to do than you think.
Let’s go through the tips now…
TIP #1: Taking Advantage Of Cardio
Typically, people will do cardio workouts for anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour. Let’s face it, that’s a LONG time to do nothing but run in place!
If you see an attractive girl you’d like to meet doing cardio, see if you can get on a machine next to her to do your cardio. This will give you the opportunity to start up a conversation with her.
You’ll be amazed at how easy it is to talk to someone when they’re doing a cardio workout, and that’s because cardio is BORING. The girl will typically be watching closed-caption TV, flipping through a magazine, or listening to music on an iPod. But talking to someone can pass the time just as fast, and as long as your approach is smooth, she’ll be more than willing to chat with you!
TIP #2: Find Out Her Playlist
One of the biggest obstacles guys face at the gym is competing with iPods. People like to listen to music when they work out, and seeing a pair of ear-plugs can scare you off from starting a conversation.
But I’ve found that actually asking the woman about the music she listens to when working out is a great way to not only get her to listen to you instead of music, but a good way to quickly bond with her over mutual interests.
The way I do it, is I’ll try and get the girl’s attention, either by waving at her or tapping her on her shoulder. This will get her to pause her music and look at me. Then I’ll say…
“Sorry to bother you, do you mind if I ask what music you’re listening to?”
When she give you her answer, you can respond:
“My playlist is getting a bit stale, and I haven’t been able to keep up with new bands. What sort of music do you prefer to listen to?”
This is a great lead in, and I can start bringing up my favorite bands, concerts I’ve attended, etc. It’s a great way to engage her and keep her attention on you!
TIP #3: Offer Advice
Often times, you’ll see girls working out throughout the gym on various machines or weights. A great way to start up conversations with them is to offer them advice or feedback on their form.
Just make sure that it’s “friendly” suggestions, and that you’re not telling them they’re doing things wrong.
People at the gym who work out without personal trainers usually have mistakes in how they are using machines or performing a certain exercise. So if you can offer them some tips on how to make their workout more effective, they’ll actually really appreciate it!
And once you offer them your advice, you can start asking them about their training goals, and carry on the conversation from there.
This is a very effective way of meeting girls who are weight training.
TIP #4: Join A Class
Most gyms offer a variety of classes you can sign up for. These range from yoga, to spinning, to dancing, etc.
Here’s a tip – most of these classes are filled by a majority of WOMEN. So taking a class can give you a tremendous opportunity to meet girls!
Not only that, but many classes can become social functions, and give you excuses to talk and chit-chat with girls. I can’t tell you how many girls I’ve dated because I was the only guy in their class at the gym.
You’ll also notice a lot of the girls in your classes also work out at the gym, so you have a great way of meeting them if you see them in the general training area. Just approach them and say “Hey, aren’t you in my spinning (or whatever) class?”
Seriously, it does not get much easier than that!
TIP #5: Take Advantage Of The Juice Bar
Most gyms nowadays have some type of juice bar, or place where you can sit down and drink a protein shake or smoothy. Take advantage of this when you’re trying to meet women at the gym!
There are two ways you can utilize a juice bar…
The first is to invite women you meet while working out to join you for a drink. This is a great way to do an “instant date” after meeting a girl. Instead of letting the girl just leave after she’s done working out, ask her if she’d be interested in grabbing a drink with you at the smoothy bar.
Then, sit down and chit-chat with her. It’s just like getting coffee together, but much quicker and easier.
Another way to use the refreshment area is to watch and see if there are any attractive women already in there. You can ask them to join you while in there. Most won’t refuse and you can chat them up immediately.
There are a bunch of ways to meet women while you work out! Try the above methods, and see what works for you!
Meet Girls From Craigs List
Let’s face it – online dating is taking the world by storm. You can hardly look anywhere without seeing an advertisement for sites like Match.com and eHarmony.
But you don’t have to pay the steep monthly fee for these dating sites if you know how to use one of the best online dating sites around. And best of all, it’s free!
The site I’m referring to is none other than Craig’s List!
Craig’s List was created by former IBM employee Craig Newmark in 1995 to better help people in and around San Francisco to connect through events. Since then, his site has gained enormous popularity and world-wide exposure.
Craig’s List is fundamentally a classified ad site. It offers a variety of services, everything from finding people places to live, to finding them jobs, buying and selling stuff, and even finding dates – exactly like the classified section in your local newspaper.
Anyone who’s ever visited Craig’s List may be skeptical about finding quality women on such a “low rent” looking website. But if you’re judging a book by its cover, you’re really missing out.
Here are the advantages to using Craig’s List for dating purposes:
1. Large Userbase
Craig’s List gets literally millions of visits a day. This means that your chances of meeting a great woman on this site is greatly increased.
2. Local Targeting
Craig’s List devotes different sections of its site to every local area in the United States. This means its easy for you to meet local single women through its services.
3. It’s Free!
Going with a “professional” dating site means paying a monthly subscription fee. But a big advantage of using Craig’s List is that its free site, which means that more women are goig to use it than your typical dating website, because it doesn’t cost them anything. This means a greater chancs for you to meet the right girl!
4. Dedicated Community
Craig’s List is more than a simple classified website. It is a big online community with daily regular visitors. It has regular activity on its message boards, which means the site is updated constantly. They also have members who moderate the website to ensure quality. All this contributes to a vibrant community that you can become a part of – something most dating sites lack.
So now that you know why Craig’s List is a great site to meet women on, let’s talk about how you can go about using Craig’s List to find dates.
Step 1: Create a new email address
One thing you’re going to want to do before you start using Craig’s List to find love is create a “dummy” email address. This will help you keep from getting spammed from the site, since lots of disreputable people use Craig’s List to harvest email addresses, so it’s a good idea to have a “throw away” email address that you use just for Craig’s List.
Step 2: Create an account on Craig’s List
Creating an account is free. Just sign up using the email address you created. This will allow you to repost your ads very easily, something which will come in handy later.
Step 3: Write An Ad
Next, you’re going to want to craft an ad to post on Craig’s List, explaining the type of girl you’re looking for.
Step 4: Create Up To 5-10 Ad Variations
Craig’s List is very strict about having duplicate content posted on their site. In an effort to fight SPAM, they require each ad to be original, so you’ll want to re-write your ad at least 5-10 times in order to be able to post your ad often.
Step 5: Post Your Ads
Once you have all your ad variations ready to go, post your ad. You’re going to want to post your ad at least twice a day, once around noon, and once around 5 or 6 o’clock. This will increase the likelihood of your ad being seen.
Step 6: Repost Your Ads
You’re allowed to repost an old ad every 3 days, so this will make posting your ads easier. To do this, simply log into your Craig’s List account, select the post you want to republish, and click the button to re-post it. It’s easy and quick to do.
Step 7: Keep Reposting Your Ad
You will want to republish your ad as many times as you can, since this is the secret to success with getting women to contact you on Craig’s List.
Step 8: Browse Ads From Women
In addition to posting an ad for a woman, you’ll also want to be sure to scan through ads that girls have posted on Craig’s List.
Step 9: Email Women you’re Interested In
Once you find an ad that catches your interest, take some time to email the girl who posted it. Use the special email address you set up just for Craig’s List though, don’t use your personal email address.
Now that you know the general process of meeting women on Craig’s List, let’s talk about two important factors – where to post, and how to craft a great ad.
First off, you have two choices of categories to post in on Craig’s List. The first is “Men Seeking Women,” and the next is “Causal Encounters.”
The “Men Seeking Women” category is where women go to browse for men they might be interested in dating. This is basically where women go searching for dates. The “Casual Encounters” category is for things like casual sex, one night stands, and other more physical encounters.
Figure out which section is more for you, and post there. You can of course post in both sections if you like, but I’ve found it’s best to focus your efforts on one section only.
Now let’s talk about crafting a winning ad.
The first thing you want to do is create a great headline. Your headline is what’s going to get people to click on your ad. Usually, you want to have some type of benefit in the headline to entice women to check you out.
For instance, a headline like “Looking For A Great Girl I Can Wine, Dine, And Romance” showcases a big benefit to the girl. Every girl likes to be romanced, so why shouldn’t they check out your ad?
Here’s another killer tip: include an image in your ad. It’s well known that an ad with a picture gets more clicks than an ad without pictures. If you don’t want to put a picture of yourself on Craig’s List for some reason, simply find some generic picture of a romantic restaurant or something along those lines to include in your ad. Any picture will do, the point here is to get Craig’s List to list your ad as having a picture in it in the listing results.
The best ads are always funny in some way, so be sure to use humor in your ad when appropriate. Writing with a fun and funny attitude will make your ad stand out from the crowd and get you more responses. It’s always a good idea to communicate a fun and interesting personality to girls, especially online.
Don’t forget to talk about yourself in the ad. Don’t just write about physical details such as body size, hair color, height, and the like. Be sure to include things you’re passionate about, things you like doing, and your idea of what a great date will be.
Then, talk about the type of girl you’re looking for. Be specific! The more specific you are, the more chance you have of getting a girl you like!
Always tell the girl that she must send you a picture, or at least a link to a MySpace or Facebook page so you can see what she looks like. Don’t just assume they’ll send a picture. Let them know you’re happy to share a picture of you in return. Most girls will respond well to this. If a girl emails you asking for a picture, give her one of you, but always ask for one in return.
Longer ads actually tend to do better than shorter ones. Long ads stand out, and girls will take time to read the ad if its interesting. So don’t worry if your ad seems long.
Use proper grammar, punctuation, spelling, and spacing. The nicer your ad looks, the easier it is to read, and the more responses it will get!
When you do everything you’ve been instructed to and combine regular ad posting with emailing women directly on Craig’s List, you’ll start to see extremely promising results and lots of women contacting you.
But just a few words of warning…
Warning 1: There are lots of SPAMMERS posing as women and posting fake personal ads on Craig’s List. They do this as a way of harvesting email addresses to spam to. If you get responses with generic emails saying things like “hey, thanks for emailing me,” be wary, since it’s typically some spammer trying to get you to sign up for some type of pay site.
Warning 2: Women can be suspicious of guys online, so always be up-front and honest with them. Women have safety issues most guys don’t, so do what it takes to make a woman feel good about contacting you.
Warning 3: Don’t spend too much time emailing back and forth. It’s always a good idea to get the girl’s number quickly so you can call or text her as soon as possible. Too much emailing may land you in the realm of being an “online fantasy,” which means she’ll never get around to actually meeting you.
Warning 4: There are unstable women on Craig’s List, so practice caution if you’re going to meet them and get together at a neutral place, like a coffee shop. Never have them come over to your place directly. This is because you want to be sure to screen them first to see if they’re stable and sane before inviting them into your home.
Warning 5: Don’t quit too soon or give up! Too many men simply post one ad on Craig’s List and then stop. If you want to be successful meeting women on Craig’s List, you have to post as often as you can, and keep emailing women until you find one you like.
When you follow all these tips, you’ll get amazing success with meeting women on Craig’s List.
A Guide To Verbal Flirting, Part 6
In the last article of this series, I showed you how reciprocal disclosure was a powerful tool in your flirting arsenal. In this article, I’m going to show you how the use of humor is a powerful tool, but one that needs to be used with caution.
On the good side, if you use humor well, you are seen as far more likable by women.
On the bad side? You can kill an encounter instantly with poor use of humor.
Let’s get further into this. If you are light hearted with your humor, it will elevate the attraction and trust she’ll feel in you. It will deflate the anxiety and allow a relaxed mood to prevail.
If you mistime a joke, or use a risque joke too early, you’ll do just the opposite as stated above. Odds are, you’ll alienate her if not enough intimacy has been established.
You have to pay attention here. Timing is the most critical part of humor, and humor is intrinsic to flirting. You need to know it.
You need to establish that you can be playful and lighthearted with her on some level. If you don’t have the ability to be that way with her, the relationship could be in trouble.
If you can establish this early, it’s great. In fact, the earlier the better! You can try an opener laced with humor to get things going.
For example, if it’s pouring and you mention how lovely the weather is, and she’s already signaled nonverbally that she’s interested, then you’ll get a positive response that takes the awkwardness out of the meeting.
Once mutual attraction is established, then the using humor will be natural to the both of you. The natural instinct is to make the other person stay interested, and by making them smile, it’s a positive affirmation towards that.
A good technique is playful teasing. It’s common, accepted, and it allows both parties to give personal details in a light and fun manner. Reciprocal disclosure can happen in this manner too.
The biggest mistakes you can make is to go to extremes while using humor. For example, using too much humor, or monopolizing the joke telling. That goes along with the article on turn taking – it’s very important to acknowledge that rule.
And don’t worry if a woman doesn’t joke along with you the whole time. Women will have a tendency to under use humor or be subtle about it. Look for her signs of interest, rather than if she jokes back.
Watch for her signals, as they’ll be your guide in getting it right. With some practice, you’ll be able to time jokes well and make her smile easily. Keep on it! Watch for under doing it, or worse, over doing it.
In the coming article of this series, I’ll show you how to walk away with you still on her mind!
The Art Of Verbal Flirting, Part 6
Reciprocal disclosure, as I mentioned in the last article of the series, is an extraordinarily powerful weapon as far as your flirting goes. In this article, I’ll show you an equally powerful tool – humor – and how it should be used, but with a bit of caution.
The good part of humor is that if you use it correctly, women will enjoy your company more.
On the bad side? You can kill an encounter instantly with poor use of humor.
Let’s get further into this. If you are light hearted with your humor, it will elevate the attraction and trust she’ll feel in you. It will deflate the anxiety and allow a relaxed mood to prevail.
If you mistime a joke, or use a risque joke too early, you’ll do just the opposite as stated above. Odds are, you’ll alienate her if not enough intimacy has been established.
It’s critical to pay attention here. Humor is intrinsic to flirting, but you need to avoid the pitfall of bad timing or ill thought out jokes. In essence, it’s an unavoidable part of the game.
You need to establish that you can be playful and lighthearted with her on some level. If you don’t have the ability to be that way with her, the relationship could be in trouble.
If you can establish this early, it’s great. In fact, the earlier the better! You can try an opener laced with humor to get things going.
For example, if it’s pouring and you mention how lovely the weather is, and she’s already signaled nonverbally that she’s interested, then you’ll get a positive response that takes the awkwardness out of the meeting.
Once mutual attraction is established, then the using humor will be natural to the both of you. The natural instinct is to make the other person stay interested, and by making them smile, it’s a positive affirmation towards that.
A good technique is playful teasing. It’s common, accepted, and it allows both parties to give personal details in a light and fun manner. Reciprocal disclosure can happen in this manner too.
The biggest mistakes you can make is to go to extremes while using humor. For example, using too much humor, or monopolizing the joke telling. That goes along with the article on turn taking – it’s very important to acknowledge that rule.
And don’t worry if a woman doesn’t joke along with you the whole time. Women will have a tendency to under use humor or be subtle about it. Look for her signs of interest, rather than if she jokes back.
Keep an eye out on the whole process. Are you over doing it? Under doing it? Let her signals be your guide. It takes practice but with time you’ll be able to make her laugh without effort.
Coming up next, I’ll show you the best way to walk away – how to close correctly and get out of there while being fresh on her mind!